Nepali jokes

A collection of Jokes
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Mero man mandir hoina ,Nafukali aaya hunchha

  • May 14, 2010 11:35 pm

Boy: (to a new girl)Darling,Mero mutu ma aayara basana.
Girl: (In very angry mood)Chappal fukalau?
Boy: Mero man mandir hoina ,Nafukali aaya hunchha.

The Titanic is going to be drowned

  • May 14, 2010 11:31 pm
Help…. the Titanic is going to be drowned….\”
Everybody in the ship is shouting, crying, running or praying to God…
Just then a Italian asks the nearby Hari in the ship.
Italian : How far is land, from here ?
Hari : Two miles .
Italian : Only two miles, Then why are these fools making noise.
I have got the experience of swimming even more.
The Italian jumps off the ship into the sea and comes up to the layer to ask something again.
Italian : Just tell me which side, is land two miles from here ?
Hari: Downwards… !!

jokes and sms by manish bhandari

  • May 6, 2010 9:55 pm
Well I was bullied at school, called all kinds of different names. But one day I turned to my bullies and said – ‘Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me’, and it worked! From there on it was sticks and stones all the way. 
Well I was bullied at school, called all kinds of different names. But one day I turned to my bullies and said – ‘Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me’, and it worked! From there on it was sticks and stones all the way. 
A guy at work went in for a competition and won a trip to China. He’s out there now…trying to win a trip back!
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised that The Lord doesn’t work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.
I sold my house this week. I got a pretty good price for it, but it made my landlord mad as hell.
A woman tells her doctor, ‘I’ve got a bad back.’
The doctor says, ‘It’s old age.’
The woman says, ‘I want a second opinion.’
The doctor says: ‘Okay – you’re ugly as well.’
I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn’t take it out of my garden.
You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said ‘Parking Fine.’ So that was nice.
The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.  
A girl can wait for the right man to come along, but in the meantime that still doesn’t mean she can’t have a wonderful time with all the wrong ones.
Giving up smoking is easy…I’ve done it hundreds of times.
In life, it’s not who you know that’s important, it’s how your wife found out.
Women have a passion for mathematics. They divide their age in half, double the price of their clothes, and always add at least five years to the age of their best friend.
I was the best man at the wedding. If I’m the best man, why is she marrying him?
My wife had a go at me last night. She said, “You’ll drive me to my grave.” I had the car out in thirty seconds.

sadarji..

  • May 5, 2010 10:56 am

A sardarji Doctor falls in Love with a Nurse.He writes a love letter to the Nurse :- I Love U sister….

Discoveries and inventions

  • March 27, 2010 11:44 am

The man discovered COLORS and invented PAINT;

the woman discovered PAINT and invented MAKEUP.

The man discovered the WORD and invented CONVERSATION;

the woman discovered CONVERSATION and invented GOSSIP.

The man discovered AGRICULTURE and invented FOOD;

The woman discovered FOOD and invented DIET.

The man discovered FRIENDSHIP and invented LOVE;

The woman discovered LOVE and invented LOVE TRIANGLES.

The man discovered TRADING and invented MONEY;

the woman discovered MONEY and invented SHOPPING.

Thereafter man has discovered and invented a lot of things…

but the women are still BUSY in shopping……………..

दिमागमा आगो

  • March 27, 2010 11:34 am

श्रीमती: तिमी मलाई धेरै रिस नउठाउ त ! मेरो दिमागमा आगो बलेको छ आज ।
हम जाएगा: ए, तेही भएर होला, आज बिहानैदेखि गुईँठा बालेको गन्ध आएको ।

किराहरु र जनावरहरुको फूटबल म्याच

  • March 27, 2010 11:33 am

एकचोटि किराहरु र जनावरहरुको फूटबल म्याच भएछ । हाफ ट्याम हुँदासम्म जनावरहरुले ६ गोल गरेछन्, तर किराहरुले भने गोलै गर्न सकेनछन् । दोश्रो हाफमा किराहरुको कोचले सय खुट्टे अरिमुठे (MILLIPEDE) ल्याएछ । अरिमुठेले दनादन १२ गोल ठोकेछ, किराहरुले १२-६ मा खेल जितेछन् । खेल सकिएपछि पत्रकारहरुले किराको कोचलाई सोधे;
“कोचज्यू, यस्तो राम्रो खेल्ने अरिमुठेलाई पहिल्यैबाट किन नखेलाएको?”
“पहिल्यैबाट खेलाउने मन त मलाईपनि थियो भाई, तर के गर्ने, बिचरालाई सय वटा खुट्टामा बुट कस्नै हाफ टाइमसम्म लाग्यो ।”

सालीको कट्टु फुकाल्छु

  • March 27, 2010 11:28 am

दुईजना कर्मचारी कुरा गर्दै
पहिलो: आज गुड फ्राईडे कसरी मनाउने योजना छ त ?
दोश्रो: घरमा जान्छु..अस्तिको एक प्याक बाँकी नै छ…त्यहि मासुको भुटुवासँग…दिएर मनाउनु पर्ला । अनि तिम्रो नि ?
पहिलो: घर गएर मेरो सालीको कट्टु फुकाल्छु ।
दोश्रो: हँ ! किन …?
पहिलो: मैले बिहान हतारमा सालीको कट्टु लगाएर आएछु ।

रेखा थापा बाहिर गुम्न जान लाग्दा

  • March 6, 2010 12:53 am

रेखा थापा बाहिर गुम्न जान लाग्दा एरपोर्टमा ब्याग चेक गर्दा सलाईको बट्टा भेटियो।
चेकर- यो सलाईको बट्टामा के छ?
रेखा थापा- नतर्सनुस् यसमा मेरो कपडा छ।

नेपाल टेलिकमको नयाँ सेवा “विवाह सेवा” सुरु

  • March 6, 2010 12:52 am

नेपाल टेलिकमको नयाँ सेवा विवाह सेवा:
सम्बन्धको लागि १ थिच्नुस्, मग्निको लागि २ थिच्नुस्, विवाह नै गर्न ३ थिच्नुस्
मुन्द्रे: दोस्रो विवाहको लागि के थिच्ने?
नेपाल टेलिकम : यस सेवाको लागि पत्नीको घाटि थिच्नुस्।।।।।